New Opportunity: Practicing What You Preach (Inquire Within)

Lately, I have made it a point to try to see people through God's eyes and treat them accordingly.  I hate to see people hurt, used or mistreated.  I've been there and I strive to not be on the "administering end" of hurt and mistreatment.

I feel so strongly about this, in fact, that I recently challenged a few people to pray for the ability to see people as God sees them and love them as God loves them and watch how much of a difference it makes in the way they relate to their family, friends, co-workers and random people they meet along the way.  And, just to drive my stake a little further into the ground, I changed my Facebook status to this: "Please be kind to someone today. They may need a random smile more than their next breath. It's not always about you."

And, I truly believed that but then ...

A stranger was rude to me as I was running into a department store for a small errand.  I was suddenly at odds with a family member over an issue that just would not seem to resolve itself like one of those spider bites that take exceptionally long to heal.  A co-workers unusual manner of expression struck a nerve.  And, suddenly, I found myself faced with having to practice what I've preached. 

Coincidence?  I think not.

So, what did I do?  Well, to be quite honest with you, I just gritted my teeth and challenged myself to be kind anyway.  I'm not perfect and it was not easy.  So, I prayed for God's strength because I couldn't do it alone and operating in my own strength was not getting the job done at all.

Something I have learned in being overly sensitive nearly all of my life is this; it is not always about me.  I was not the only person that was born with the capacity to feel.  Therefore, I'm not the only person on the face of this earth with the capacity to be hurt.  And because I know what it feels like to be hurt, I don't ever want to purposely bring emotional harm to anyone.

I make the choice to sow seeds of kindness.  I make the choice to be a loving human being.

The rude stranger, the difficult family member and the co-worker with a unique means of self-expression; all opportunities to practice what I've preached and cause the choice to be kind to evolve into a habit of being kind.

Believe me when I say that I'm not perfect and that there are days when I would like to say, "To hell with all this being nice to people!"  Still, being kind produces a far sweeter reward than not being kind.  In fact, the only "reward" for being unkind, that I know of, is a whole bunch of bitterness ... and who wants that?


Lord, please help me to exhibit kindness on a daily basis, even when I don't feel like it and would much rather rip someone's head off than flash a smile their way.  I'm not perfect but I don't have to be in order to walk in Your perfecting love and grace and I appreciate You for that.  Thanks for everything.
Love,
Me

Thorns in My Side

No matter the thorn, isn't it funny how the one that's in your side, starts digging even harder the moment you decide to rise above it and move forward, maybe even attempt to remove it? It’s not a coincidence.

So ... what'cha gonna do? Wallow in it or ... brush your shoulders off?

I'm not ashamed to admit that I have a few thorns in my life.

They prick.

I bleed.

Sometimes I wonder how it is that I have not "bled" to death by now. But, God has been good to me.

The more I try to get away from my thorns, the more they prick and the more I bleed. Still, it has always been worth it to fight.
If I didn't have the constant reminder of my fallible human frame, I would be complacent and content to just exist. I would not possess the drive to seek That which is grander than my being. I would bathe in mediocrity and wade in the pool of a life lived half-heartedly.

Who, in their right mind, wants to live like that?

These thorns, these wretched reminders of my filthy rags, push me to purpose, in a sense. The more I resist the urge to let them win, the better and stronger I become.

And, as long as I fight ... they don't win.


© 2009

It Took 29 Years to Feel Like THIS?

So ... this afternoon I was driving southbound on I-270 headed toward one of my favorite places, St. Louis Bread Company (aka Panera for you non-St. Louisans) when the sweetest thought occured to me.

It's a peaceful Sunday afternoon with nothing on the agenda, no one to see and nothing to do aside from a small errand that I must run for my mother.  I want to go to Bread Co. to have a quiet lunch with me, myself and I and possibly do a little blogging (which I'm doing right now) and I'm tempted to turn my cellphone off because I don't feel like being disturbed.  That's when it hit me ...
"I am happy.  I am free.  I really enjoy the company of me!"

Now, that might not be a big deal for some people.  Perhaps I'm the only person in the world that has ever loathed her being and questioned why she was here in the first place.  Maybe I'm the only one who ever considered taking herself out of her misery.  Maybe I'm the only one but, I doubt it. 

Growing up, I was subjected to people, whether they realized it or not, constantly trying to break my spirit.  I was "too talkative, too inquisitive, too energetic, too loud," etc.  Basically, I was "too me."

So, I began to try to alter my personality to be more like what people suggested I be.  This only frustrated me and made me mean and bitter and that was such a contradiction to who I truly am inside.  It wasn't until my mid-20's that I got tired of being so unhappy and decided to do something about it.  Now, at a "sublime twenty-nine" I finally get it and I FREAKIN' LOVE ME!!!!!

That thought was a big deal for me because it has taken me nearly 30 years to be this happy with myself.  In fact I'm freakin' ecstatic about being me.  I think I'm pretty fantastic and, more importantly, I looooove myself.  And, in loving myself, it has been easier to be loving to those who aren't so loving toward me.

When you're comfortable in your own skin there really isn't much anyone can do to make you uncomfortable with yourself and that's how it should be.


I ROCK!