Saw this at a Hallmark store and had to purchase the pack! Lord knows I'm anything but subtle!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
All Better Now ...
In my previous entry I was pretty upset. I've calmed down considerably and am choosing to take something positive away from the situation. That being said, what I have learned today is this: Growth is a process best left unmolested. In other words, take it one day at a time. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither were you. There will be highs and lows, good and bad. But, what matters the most is who you become when its all said and done. Be better, do better. Period.
How'd I get all of that from what happened earlier today? Well, I see it like this: We all grow mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically at different paces. I can't allow a disagreement to stunt my growth. Yeah it hurt but I'm going to use it as "fertilizer" to assist in my growth process, if you will.
I'm taking things one day at a time and I'm not taking today's crap with me into tomorrow.
Thanks for listening.
How'd I get all of that from what happened earlier today? Well, I see it like this: We all grow mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically at different paces. I can't allow a disagreement to stunt my growth. Yeah it hurt but I'm going to use it as "fertilizer" to assist in my growth process, if you will.
I'm taking things one day at a time and I'm not taking today's crap with me into tomorrow.
Thanks for listening.
What's a Girl to Do?
My heart is aching at the moment so do excuse me if I ramble.
I had a discussion with a loved one today that went horribly wrong and the reason it went wrong was the very reason I didn't want to have it in the first place. It is close to impossible for me to be open and vulnerable with this person and when I expressed these feelings (for the umpteenth time) they jumped down my throat further reinforcing my belief that expressing myself with them is just not safe.
We've been over this a thousand times, this person and I have. It hurts not to be able to talk to them but I am too afraid of what will be said. I feel bad, even guilty, because I know this person wants to have a closer relationship with me but I just can't do it ... not if everytime I open my mouth you're going to roll your eyes, look incredulous or question my sanity. I've got enough insecurities without someone exacerbating them for me.
At the same time, I wonder if I'm trying hard enough? Am I being selfish? Is there any reason why this person and I shouldn't be close? Lord, knows I love 'em but I just can't get past the fact that I can't really be myself around them. Seriously, if I so much as mention something that is not agreed with a nose will turn up or a face will be made like, "Are you serious?" WHO NEEDS THAT?
God, help me, I just don't know what to do.
I think maybe I'm just doing too much. I'm already in a pretty vulnerable place; unlearning everything I've ever been taught about God and allowing God Himself to teach me Who He really is. That alone can leave a person pretty raw and naked, figuratively speaking.
I'm emotionally, mentally and spiritually drained and all I want is peace of mind and in life. I rarely feel peaceful around this person. I'm always uncomfortable and it hurts me that I feel this way. I feel like such a horrible person ... like I'm not trying hard enough in our relationship. I should do better ... but I just can't. I don't trust them ... period.
God help me.
I had a discussion with a loved one today that went horribly wrong and the reason it went wrong was the very reason I didn't want to have it in the first place. It is close to impossible for me to be open and vulnerable with this person and when I expressed these feelings (for the umpteenth time) they jumped down my throat further reinforcing my belief that expressing myself with them is just not safe.
We've been over this a thousand times, this person and I have. It hurts not to be able to talk to them but I am too afraid of what will be said. I feel bad, even guilty, because I know this person wants to have a closer relationship with me but I just can't do it ... not if everytime I open my mouth you're going to roll your eyes, look incredulous or question my sanity. I've got enough insecurities without someone exacerbating them for me.
At the same time, I wonder if I'm trying hard enough? Am I being selfish? Is there any reason why this person and I shouldn't be close? Lord, knows I love 'em but I just can't get past the fact that I can't really be myself around them. Seriously, if I so much as mention something that is not agreed with a nose will turn up or a face will be made like, "Are you serious?" WHO NEEDS THAT?
God, help me, I just don't know what to do.
I think maybe I'm just doing too much. I'm already in a pretty vulnerable place; unlearning everything I've ever been taught about God and allowing God Himself to teach me Who He really is. That alone can leave a person pretty raw and naked, figuratively speaking.
I'm emotionally, mentally and spiritually drained and all I want is peace of mind and in life. I rarely feel peaceful around this person. I'm always uncomfortable and it hurts me that I feel this way. I feel like such a horrible person ... like I'm not trying hard enough in our relationship. I should do better ... but I just can't. I don't trust them ... period.
God help me.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
A Love that Just Is
If we could learn to receive God's love, accepting that it just simply IS without trying to figure out how and why ... we would be so much happier and freer than ever! I am convinced of this and everyday I strive to receive God's love and His daily dose of grace and mercy for me. I stress myself out when I try to wrap my mind around why He loves me. I get anxious when I go over the list of reasons why He shouldn't love me. But, I gain a sweet peace of mind when I choose to accept the fact that there is absolutely nothing I can do to earn His love. His love just IS and it always will be, even when I mess up.
__________________
__________________
"Lord, I receive Your love for me today. Thank You for the grace to be better than I was yesterday and the day before that and for Your unconditional love just in case I'm 'not so better.'"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
