Rules, Regulations, Shackles OH MY!

I think that maybe I've gone from one extreme to the other.  I used to care entirely too much what others thought of every single thing I did, searching for approval in the heart of any soul who would offer it.  Now, I don't give a rip about what anyone thinks.  Yet, I'm starting to think that perhaps I'm out of balance.  Or am I?  I don't know.

The thing is ... every time someone tries to give me advice on being a Christian or tell me what a real Christian looks like, I immediately shut down.  I imagine I'm Charlie Brown sitting in a class listening to Ma'am go "wah wah wah wah!"  I just don't want to hear it.

But, today a very intimidating thought occurred to me: when I graduate with my Bachelor's in Theology I will technically be a minister, a licensed minister.  Me being in ministry on some level comes as no surprise.  It's something that has been foreseen by myself and others since I was a child.  So, in actuality, that is not the issue. 

The issue is this (how do I put this delicately?); I don't want to be to be a part of the kind of ministry I grew up on.  I don't want to be the kind of minister I grew up listening to.  Please understand me when I write that I am in no way, shape, form or fashion implying that I am more enlightened than those who have taught me.  I am saying that the humanly flawed but mostly well-meaning teachings and guidance of church leaders from my past confused me to the point that I considered walking away from God altogether.  But, before I took one step, I had a divinely inspired revelation: God is not people!  No matter how well-meaning people are, they are not the final word.  God is!

I just get so tired of all the corny Christian catch-phrases, the people who are so heavenly minded that they are no earthly good and the twisted and preachy sermons that remind me more of fire and brimstone than love and grace.  I have had it with books, sermons, teachings, etc. that seem to stroke egos than teach true intimacy and relationship with God.   

I don't want to be that kind of minister.  Ministers like that make me throw up in my mouth a little bit.  Seriously.

So, what triggered these thoughts?

Recently, someone told me that when in ministry, I'm going to have to cover up my tattoo(s) because some people have issues with tattoos. I laughed and said, "Doubt it!" Nevermind, that the tattoo on my wrist is of my favorite Scripture in the Bible, if something as insignificant as a tattoo can deter you from your relationship with God then you've got bigger problems than me and the inscription on my left wrist, honey!

And, its really not about the tattoo.  Its about the fact that the current generation really isn't trying to hear all of the "religious theatrics" that I grew up on.  This generation is one that is lost and desperately seeking relationship not twelve keys to becoming better at masking their issues, five steps to figuring out why their "God in a Box" isn't working for them or eleventy-umpteen principles to apply to their lives so that God will love them more.  All that does is breed guilt and even contempt (or maybe I'm just speaking for myself on that one?).

A relationship with God is not about rules and regulations.  Its about exactly what it is ... relationship.  Sure, one's belief in God should be evident but keep the sermons that do nothing but make me feel inadequate and give me the guidance I need to make God's presence in my life evident because of the intimacy and closeness that I share with Him!  I can do without all the extras and add-ons.

So, forgive me if my "behavior" illustrates a certain disdain for anything that resembles the "extras and add-ons minus the intimacy!"  I'm sorry if I throw up in my mouth a little bit when someone starts shooting off at the mouth about stuff that is completely contradictory to the nature of God.  I'm just fed up.  I mean no harm but you are free to miss me with that foolishness.  I've had enough.  And no ... I don't care what you think about that.

*shrugs*

Be Delightful

“Delight yourself also in the Lord and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.” --Psalm 37:4 [AMP]
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These words are often misinterpreted and taken to mean that if you praise God just enough, He will give you what you want. But that is not it at all. The Psalmist is not advising that we hold out our hands like hungry children. Instead we are being admonished to come to know God in such an intimate way that our hearts become intertwined with His and His desires for us become our desires for ourselves.

And we do serve a benevolent and loving God who cares about our happiness but, not everything we want is in our best interest. He knows this and that is why it is in our best interest to closely commune with Him and allow Him to lead us down the path He has just for us. There is safety and liberty in His arms and His will and we should take care to remember that it is not always about us but it is always about Him being glorified in our lives.


© 2009 EGP

FiftyOneTen

“Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and make me willing to obey you.” Psalm 51:10-12, NLT

The 51st Psalm began to resonate in my heart the night I realized that I didn’t love Jesus as much as I thought or had convinced myself that I did. There were still people, places and things that I hadn’t entirely given over to God and my relationship with Him was suffering because of it. I couldn’t even pray without being distracted by these issues … these things that had I given them over to and left in the hands of God, would have been water under the bridge, freeing me to live this life with faithful abandon.

I had always been familiar with the 51st Psalm but it took on a whole new meaning when I realized just how wretched I had been. I was guilty of going through the motions of religion and religious rituals and allowing them to replace that which was more important; a relationship with the Almighty.

King David knew and understood that what God really wanted was relationship. God wanted the heart behind the deeds.

“You do not desire sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.”Psalm 51:16-17

Seeing this with my own eyes and understanding it with my own heart has been one of the sweetest revelations about the love of God that I have ever had. He loved me and desired a reciprocal relationship with me! Going through the motions of religion was meaningless to Him. The content of my heart held a lot more weight as far as He was concerned.

So, the 51st Psalm became the song of my heart. It became my deepest desire concerning my Heavenly Father. And for the rest of my days I will continue to pray this prayer of King David, a man after God’s own heart because I want nothing more than to be a woman after God’s own heart, a mirror image of Him and canvas upon which to create a divine masterpiece.

My 51st Psalm Prayer

Lord, fashion for me a new heart of which the contents are pleasing in Your sight. Don’t turn away from me, I couldn’t bear it. Please don’t take the sweet peace of your presence away from me. Help me to remain joyful in my walk and service to you, even when things get hard. I ask these things because I want to worship you with a clean, purified, overflowing, unhindered heart and faithful abandon. I don’t want anything to stand in the way of what is yours; a heart that is unequivocally YOURS. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

© 2009