Past Relationships and Such

When I look back at my past romantic relationships and how unfulfilling they were, I have to laugh and question my sanity.  There were times when I thought I was head over heels in love and there were times where I was just hanging on for the sake of not failing at relationship, knowing full well that it was over before it even began.  Sometimes, the problem was him.  Other times the problem was me.  But, most of the time the problem was us both.

And so I'm single again and, for the first time, I find myself feeling really good and secure about my status.  Sure, I want to meet a nice guy and start something meaningful and long-term, but I'm in no rush.  When I rush, I always end up with a guy who should come with a label that says, "WARNING: IDIOT!  DATE AT YOUR OWN STUPID RISK!"  Ha ha ha.

Seriously though ...

When I look at the things I've been through with men who didn't love or respect me, I have to say that I brought those things on myself to an extent.  I brought it on myself by not having and sticking to a standard for my life.  I brought it on myself by compromising for the sake of being held by someone to soothe a throbbing void.  I brought it on myself because I had a seemingly insatiable need to please, a need that did nothing but get me used and discarded.

Oh, I'm over all of that.  I don't hold anything against anybody.  I'm just a lot wiser than when I first began.

Now, I think I'll wait.  I am content to wait for the right guy but I'm not going to sit around and wait on him.  I'm going to do what I need to do to better myself and whenever Love comes, it comes.  But, first, let me love me some Ebbie.  Its high time I did that after so long.

Thanks for "listening."